Shuffle all

It was a dull night or so it seemed, it could have been otherwise also but that's got no relevance to what I'm about to narrate, so it doesn't really matter. The events that transpired that night were of great significance in my life. That night was when i got to drive a car on proper roads in the middle of some traffic after I'd got my real driver's license. The drive was so exhilarating that i wouldn't forget for a lifetime. It was by chance that i got to drive that night.

Earlier that day came the exam results, I'd failed in quite a few subjects and passed in a few too, which was about what I'd expected so that didn't worry me much. A friend had failed in all so i wasn't the kid that studied the least, not like that made me feel better but just so i give a proper picture. A friend had passed all subjects, and there were friends of other types too, so we were a mixed bunch as far as results were concerned. The results this time around had a different vibe, for this was our final semester and officially college was over for us, of course we were going to stick around a little longer until we cleared all our pending papers, yet there was a sense of sadness. I felt it a little stronger than the others or so i thought because i was in love. This girl of my heart, to my regret, had passed all subjects, so typical. Her name was Narmada, she was a nice girl, a good dancer and very popular, especially with the guys. She was probably the girl of many hearts and there were probably sadder souls that day. But that didn't dampen my spirits because she wasn't easy and i was popular too, with the girls especially, i was a 'hunk' and i played football and was good at it too. And girls simply dug guys like me.

I always was under the impression that i could get any girl that i wanted but that was once damaged a little. It was about a year ago, i decided to tell her that i liked her. Then i barely knew her, yet i walked to her, she was with a bunch of other girls and most of them looked at me, except her, so i had to call her by her name and she turned sipping coffee from the cup, and man, she was a looker.

"yes" she said

I was afraid that i might get nervous and this in turn made me nervous, though this was triggered by a different stimulus, it felt the same and what it made me was about the same too and it kept building.

"Can i speak to you alone for a second" i said with some difficulty

"what about?"

"It's kinda personal and I'm a bit conscious with your friends around you see"

"OK, gimme a second" she said and turned to her friends and said something i couldn't hear and came to me and she did it so neatly. We walked away from her friends and as i was contemplating ways to tell her, she said

"You're not gonna propose, are you?"

I got a heart attack. I felt faint, i wished i was not there, i wished i could disappear. I gulped a bit and said

"No, no of course not, why would i do that, i mean, what are you talking about" i said trying to look confused and looking like i needed to take a piss

"That's a relief, cos guys typically do that, you see. I used to like that at first, it was fun but now i'm sick of it, it's kinda boring too"

"Really, that's crazy, I'm surprised, do they what, just walk to you and propose"

"Sure, many do that and some try to chat me up and all that, some try to be friends with me. But all ending up at the same spot"

"Crazy, funny the things guys can do for girls"

"Funny in a way yes, but also annoying sometimes. And what is it that you wanted to say?"

"oh that, yes, i almost forgot, ah, and now i don't seem to remember. what was it? You have any idea? I mean what could it be, i have such a bad memory, i'm sorry" i spluttered.

"What?"

"That's right, what? Yes, of course i know now, how can i forget, dance, that's right, i wanted to learn dance and wasn't sure how to go about it, there, you see?" i said, a little relieved that came just in time.

She thought for a bit and said "Oh, you're looking for a dance tutor? Ok, i don't go for classes you see, and i don't really know anyone that can teach"

"Oh i see, alright, that's alright, i'm mean it's ok, absolutely, not like i was very keen anyway, just a thought, that's all, and now looking at you i've changed my mind, i mean, you're so thin just like how a dancer should be and that long hair, i mean it looks great on you when you dance, i mean it's all perfect for you. I mean it's totally alright with me, i'm fine, and thank you, thank you very much. i guess football is more my speed." i said stupidly.

"oh, ok. Whatever you say" she said looking amused.

"Ok, thanks a lot, i'll see you, bye" i said

"Ok, bye" she said and walked away. I stood there for a moment feeling utterly stupid. So, since then i'd developed a huge feeling for Narmada and was totally smitten by her, lovelorn and all that.

So i worshiped her for the next whole year. I would go to every cultural show that she danced in. I would get those DVDs if possible and watch her dance. I would listen to the songs that she danced to, even try to memorize them. I'd even watched some random people dance only because they were dancing to the songs that Narmada once danced to. I would call her in the evening just to hear her speak until she hung up. The bottom line is i did every crazy thing that a guy in love would do.

I would wait for her to come, in the canteen, and buy the same stuff she bought. I would gaze at her throughout the time she ate. I would look away if she looked, sometimes i'd continue to stare, and she'd look away. I'd wait for her in the corridor outside her class just before it ended, and when she came i'd stare. At first, she used to smile at me and i'd smile too, sheepishly, but sensing the habit she stopped smiling and she started avoiding me quite evidently or sometimes she would stare back coldly which i found very endearing and i would stare still colder. Sometimes she would get in the middle of the bunch that comes out first and slide away chatting with a friend. Nothing mattered to me as long as i saw her everyday and i was happy living that way.

I could have easily been in talking terms with her after the first time i spoke with her and i might have even got her to like me and all that but i never found that very romantic, also i'd never do that after what she'd said about guys that do that. I liked the coldness that had developed between us, i found it very attractive and there was something wild about it, something that turned me on. I was hoping she felt the same way. Towards the end of the year i kept getting this funny feeling that she felt the same way too. And this feeling grew stronger, nothing obvious from the way she behaved but there were certain subtleties that i couldn't describe or clearly sense.

As my final days in college were counting down i started getting a little restless. Often i'd decided that it was time i told her but i could never tell her. There was something about her that scared me a bit, her calm demeanor, her composure or maybe her ego, now i was getting scared of everything about her that i used to like about her. Perhaps, i was scared of failure, failure i couldn't bear i knew. As days went, fear was replaced by despair, and there were times when i'd lost hope too.

So, after exams, exams that i did terribly, i thought about everything and i kept wondering what might've happened had i told her earlier, i'd keep picturing different possibilities in my head. Running the same version over and over, running a different version, losing sleep, sleeping half awake and all that. But, one thing i kept telling myself everyday, that was a decision i made, i decided to tell her on the day of results no matter what.

So, after checking the results. I waited in the corridor from the lobby where the results were published, i waited for a while. A little later at the other end of the corridor i could see Narmada and her friends coming, i stood straight feeling nervous and desperate. As they came closer, their conversations sounded hushed and giggly, i fixed my gaze on Narmada, prepared to meet the familiar cold stare. But this time she didn't look at me, she looked flustered and for a second i thought she was blushing. I gulped and allowed my gaze to follow her. At about the end of the corridor she slid away from her friends and laid her bag on the ledge and scribbled something on a piece of paper, left it there and walked away after glancing at me. I ran there and grabbed the note, it read

"Meet me here the same time tomorrow."

I couldn't stop smiling, i was grinning from ear to ear like a looney. I merrily trotted to my friends and flaunted that note and all that. They teased me for a bit and that's it, because they were a little excited about that night's booze meet, being the last day and all that. Even otherwise we'd drink because we had nothing else to do. I was at the top of the world since i got that note which was all the more reason to drink. That night seemed to promise a lot of fun, we had a car, the money we'd pooled was ample, not to mention the girls that'd show up at the fashionable pub we were going to goto, reputed for that type of crowd.

A friend managed to bring the car that he'd promised he'd. So i and my friends squeezed into the car and drove away. The pub was neat in my opinion, truly up to it's reputation, holding a tidy crowd with the prettiest and the dumbest girls in the city. We got drunk slowly, talking of this and that. The music was great and loud, we had to shout at the top of our voices if we had something to say, and everyone had something to say every second, so we all were shouting at one another, a deaf beholder might think we were fighting, from the look on our faces. It was almost midnight when we came out of the pub. We were drunk like hell that it felt like we were filled with alcohol head to toe. My friend said he was too drunk to drive. He wanted me to drive, i was too drunk too, but i wanted to drive, it's the type of feeling that one gets right after getting a driver's license, that blunts ones senses. So i took the drivers seat, and drove. The vehicle was a lot better than the one in which i'd learned to drive, this was much easier to maneuver and everything was smooth. I drove for a while, neatly overtaking the few vehicles there were. A little later the road was empty and i revved all the way up to the top, everything that went past us seemed so surreal, my friends were cheering me and i could sense the alcohol weighing down my head. I reminded myself to maintain steady and i did. Just as i turned to the left at the end of that road, four or more cops came out of nowhere to block the car. A friend shouted

"Don't stop, keep going, keep going"

So i abruptly slid to the extreme right of the road and revved, to go past all the policemen. I sped along crazily and to my horror i could see a cop chasing behind on a bike. I revved still, it felt like the whole world was whirling into my head. I heard a friend laugh out loud "Ha Ha Ha", he kept laughing hysterically or so it seemed. I heard the sound of siren from the cop's bike, the sound grew louder and louder, it felt like a thousand cops were chasing from every direction. The laughing grew louder too, it was like a crazy dream. Suddenly, the sounds attenuated like i'd gone deaf. The laughing seemed to fade inside my head, the sound of the siren seemed to fade inside. The streetlights seemed like they were blinding my vision, or it wasn't the streetlights, it was probably another car from the opposite direction. I tried to adjust my vision, i could see that the road was turning to the right into the bridge, i wasn't sure if the speed was ok to turn but i had no option and i turned the wheel all the way to the right and the car did remarkably well and turned, but apparently the left tire hit the curb on the left and the car was airborne for a bit until the rear-wheels hit the bridge wall and the bottom of the car hit the outside of the bridge wall with a bang and the car was plummeting down like a jet, everything around us seemed like a dream and i still heard my friend laughing "Ha ha ha", i for a moment thought it was some kind of a really funny joke or maybe a crazy dream. Suddenly the car hit the ground with a huge thud and i........

And he died. So, don't drink and drive. Funny? No?