deux amis

chapter 1
there are many lonely people around, we just don't know that they are lonely. for example, I'm lonely and nobody thinks I'm lonely. i never felt like this until i was in high school. i would attribute my loneliness to the absence of a girlfriend or at least i thought so. many think so. in school, we talked about girls in a subtle and shy way. we got teased for having obsessions and all. in college almost everyone was ready to admit their obsession. i thought we were becoming desperate. i was becoming desperate. when ever we talked, we talked about girls and everywhere we went we looked for girls. as everything went by, some guys got lucky and got girls, presumably girls were looking for guys too, i don't know. overwhelming insecurity binds. my overwhelming insecurity never bound me anywhere, only got me terribly desperate that my tongue hung invariably. until one day i found priya, that name kept resounding in my head. i even suggested

"'priya', isn't that an amazing name. can you think of a name better than that?"

"lavanya"

"who is lavanya?"

"i don't know. i just thought that was a good name. I'd like lavanya for a wife."

"who is lavanya?"

"i don't know. i just like the name, i told you."

"you'd marry a girl for her name? what if she's ugly?"

"i don't think so, lavanyas are usually not ugly. i used to know a lavanya from junior school, she was very pretty "

"i don't know, but i like priya better, fewer syllables. And moreover someone would actually talk when i call that name."

"oh really. what happened to the girl you saw at the french class?"

"oh her. she's totally out of my league. i once actually mustered up all the courage in me and went up to her and asked her name and she said 'why' and that's it, just why. don't you love it when people manage to handle such situations with just a word. i mean imagine the kinda pressure you're under when a girl approaches you, i thought it's the same for girls too. anyway i kinda liked the way she said that"

"and what did you say?"

"what do you expect me to say, i can't tell her that i really liked her and would like to be in a relationship with her. anyway, i couldn't have said that even if I'd wanted to, i was very nervous. i just walked away with a "forget about it" nod, anyway she seemed totally out of my league so forget about it anyway"

"ha ha, that must have been embarrassing.. i can't even imagine you doing that."

"yeah, it was.. but embarrassment i can handle if i knew i was gonna get the girl, that's the trouble, you never know if you stood a chance"

"i know, but trust me man. you don't stand a chance at all, not with any girl, you just need to wait for your parents to find you one."

"what do you mean i don't stand a chance i already got priya"

"you haven't got priya. you've been messaging for what like 5 days?, that's not got her"

"maybe i haven't got her but that's something anyway. what about you, you got nothing and yet you speak like you're a babe magnet"

"course I'm, i just never tried. i could get any girl i want, I'm just not into it"

just then a girl was going across to the canteen, looking at her i said to Sid
"oh really. how about that one there, she's not bad, you can get her?"

"sure, she's easy"

"oh really, why don't you prove it"

"oh really, alright, you just wait here and watch me work. you gotta watch and learn, from the god"

he went up to her and said something and she smiled and walked away. and he came back

"there you go, you saw that?"

"yes, and if that's charming women then i might have done that a hundred or more times without even noticing. that was not even a conversation and she's gone already"

"what are you talking about, she smiled and she sure liked me. i asked her if i stood a chance with her and she smiled, did you not see that"

"that could have meant anything, she could have thought how ridiculous you were"

"alright if that's not enough, you need to wait. she's gonna have to come this way from the canteen, I'll prove it to you then"

"alright i can wait. just don't get into trouble"

that girl was coming out of the canteen

"OK there she comes, i bet she's gonna look at me, watch closely"

"she might look but that doesn't prove anything dummy"

"just watch loser"

the girl was passing by us and as she walked, surprisingly, she did turn to look at him and she smiled too

"now, what do you think about that, you got something to say?"

"alright brad pitt, you win"

"you only need to give them something they'd like, after all they are all humans too. You gotta amuse them or surprise them or at least buy them food if you're not very bright. guys imagine girls always expect a lot from guys which is so not true and which is why guys never get the courage to approach them and strike a decent conversation which i believe is more than sufficient to start with for any normal girl. for instance, the girl from your french class, you quit on her even before you could speak with her properly, that's exactly what I'm talking about"

"there was a reason i could not speak then, i was damn nervous cos she seemed totally out of my league"

"she might be out of your league but she is definitely of your kind"

"oh really, and what kind is that"

"the human kind, you dummy. come on dude haven't you seen the prettiest girls with the ugliest guys. and every time you see them you're struck with disbelief and jealousy, which is totally pointless, cos that's never gonna make you learn from them. they are like our gods and we need to acknowledge the fact that they got something that we haven't, we need to respect them and be inspired by them"

"what's your point dude"

"the point is that it's not that hard to get a girl like you make it out to be"

"i never said it's hard generally, i just don't have what it takes to get a girl"

"that's bullshit. you're pretty cool in my opinion but you are also such a chicken when it comes to girls. you're too scared of what might happen, you imagine a lot and you let that scare you, you're never ready to take a chance and eventually you settle for some everyday girl just cos her name's got fewer syllables. you are a typical loser"

"what are you talking about. i will never settle for an ordinary girl and you don't know about priya just yet, we've just started messaging and i doubt if she's even got the slightest clue that i might be talking this with one of my friends"

"course she knows unless she's totally dumb. are you telling me that she might be looking for some sort of a divine friendship that transcends all emotions and crap like that"

"maybe she knows or whatever, that's not the point. what are you saying i should do? if you think I'm a chicken then is there a way for me to not be a chicken, cos if there is then it's about time you said it"

"I'm saying that you need to be passionate about it, you need to at least give them a chance to like you. Just staring and drooling is not gonna get you shit. you know what, if i were you I'd have told the girl from french class everything that i was feeling for her in the most passionate way one could think of, after all who doesn't like being liked, and if she is a cool headed girl like you think she is, she'd at least think about it and that's half the job done"


"true, but it's all easy to talk and to think over but trust me dude, nothing works the way you want it when you are face to face with a girl. you know what, let's not talk about it for a while"

"alright, that'll work, let's forget about it"

chapter 2
watching movies was the awesomest pastime I've ever known. while watching a movie, I'm totally dragged into it, forgetting everything about me. and movies have been quite influential on a lot of things in my life too. Sid always managed to get tickets for both of us every time an our type of movie was released. I'd watched most of my favourite movies with him. some days after we watched '300' we watched it for the second time and we thought the movie was still great. and when i told priya about the movie, she watched it too, and she didn't think the movie was all that great

"priya didn't think the movie was all that great, can you believe it"

"i think i can. not many girls fancy gore and men fighting with swords. they are often struck by disgust that they fail to notice the visual effects and all"

"quite true. and you know what, now that she's watched '300' she wants me to watch 'high school musical', what do you think about that"

"it's typical, i think"

"ya?"

"ya. if you don't want to watch it, you could just tell her that you watched it and you can also add that you liked the opening and the closing songs, just in case she wants to know your opinion, that always works with musicals. you can also try to hum out a tune, some random tune and she will get it on her first guess"

"that's not fair, i think i will watch it, who knows i might like it"

"since when did you start giving a damn about being fair, you've become such a girl"

"come on, it's just a movie, not like I'm gonna lose anything"

"whatever, as long as I'm not a part of it. so what you gonna do this weekend? i got some weed left from last week's, we can smoke it this weekend, what say?"

"no, i can't come. I'm going to a movie with priya and also she doesn't like the idea of me smoking weed. she disapproves of cigarettes, let alone weed, so i thought of calling it quits, so you carry on"

"what the hell was that. why am i even still friends with you. you're becoming such an asshole. dude, you better get a grip on yourself, don't get carried away. now is it like a date or something?"

"no i don't think so, she and her friends were gonna go and she asked me if I'd like to come too, and i said why not. anyway I've always wanted to go out to a movie or somewhere with a bunch of girls. i used to envy these guys that could do that, and now for once i can be the envied"

"sounds like a big weekend for you. which movie is it?"

"it's a Hindi movie, not sure about the name"

"a Hindi movie? that's crazy, you don't even understand Hindi. what the hell are you gonna do there"

"I'm hoping someone will translate. anyway it's not about the movie, i see this as an opportunity to be with priya and get to know her more"

"get to know her huh? sounds like fun"

"do you think i should get her something, you know being the first time going out and all"

"i don't know, get her whatever. I'm starting to get bored"

"oooh, is that envy that I'm sensing already. I'm sorry, i totally forgot you were single. it must be very sad being single, i hear people say that they get lonely when they are single, is that true. you should perhaps come with me this weekend. i could set you up with one of priya's friends"

"now is that supposed to be funny, I've already had enough this evening, don't you start off with your clichéd humour, obviously it's not funny"

"someone is getting pissed off" I sang

chapter 3
that weekend was quite a disaster for me. there was this huge shock, which i never saw was coming and then there was this movie. that weekend i realized that Hindi movies are really long, very very long and not only are they long but they are also thoroughly boring through out the long length. the humour, lame from the look of it and the sentiments are too corny, and the movie, absolutely crappy. surprisingly the audience was totally engrossed in the movie, and priya was so absorbed in it that she wouldn't translate for me. now this turned out to be one of those moments when one desperately craves to smoke, now a song i thought would give me the time to sneak out for a quick smoke but unfortunately i couldn't tell a song from the rest of the movie because there was this annoying choir humming at the background almost throughout the movie which made the whole movie sound like a song. there's got to be a silver lining somewhere i thought and it came to me almost immediately, the interval. so i was waiting patiently for the interval which never came, and it occurred to me, this could be one of the movies that's got no interval, that's not fair, no silver lining at all. so i was waiting impatiently for the movie to end. just when i thought the movie was over, it turns out that was just the interval. at one point of time the movie bored me so much that i got totally pissed and walked out of the cinema hall and rode to Sid's house

"can you believe it Sid, priya's already got a boyfriend"

"what"

"priya, she's already got a boyfriend"

"i heard you the first time. tell me more about it, it's getting exciting"

"i went to the theatre a little early hoping to have a chat with priya and her friends. and they never turned up until it was five minutes before the movie, and then she comes with a bunch of guys and only guys, and one of them she tells me was her boyfriend and i was totally shocked and you know what i did, i shook hands with him and his buddies, what was i thinking"

"hang on, so her friends that you were talking about the other day, they were all guys?"

"yes, and so many were they that i couldn't count. not even i have hung out with so many guys"

"and she was the only girl"

"yes, very distinctly"

"and she got a boyfriend?"

"yes, and that wasn't me"

"wow, now that's a typical example of an awesome bulb. i never thought today would turn out to be so exciting, go on, keep talking"

"it's not funny dude, I'm totally heart-broken and the movie made me nauseous. she never once mentioned about him, god, i can't believe it"

"i totally can, only now everything is so befitting to your nature. now, i need to know, what were you guys even messaging about. did she ever tell you that she loved you or liked you or have a crush or did you at least tell her"

"i once told her that it was good to message her. but trust me, she gave me all the right signals otherwise i wouldn't have been led on"

"and what exactly are the signals that you are talking about"

"well, she once told me that i was very sweet, and she wanted me to send her some of my photos and she sent me hers. she once said that she liked my hair"

"ooohh, so sweet, I'd have been madly in love"

"stop being funny, cos it really doesn't help"

"alright, so what's the next step"

"there's no next step. I'm gonna have to forget about her and move on. not like I'm too upset anyway, good riddance I'd say"

"loser! you never had her to get rid of her. you are such a loser, ha ha"

"yeah i know dude, but i still can't believe she had a boyfriend throughout the time she was hitting on me. I'm gonna be upset for a long time i think"

"yeah, and you know what you totally were right, definitely it's sad to be single and i hear people say that people get lonely when they're single, is that true, what do you think about that"

"will you please let go. i can't even believe you are my friend"

"I'm sorry, that was mean of me to say that, I'm really sorry. I've just got one question though"

"what"

"how come the rest of the audience didn't complain?"

"why would they complain?"

"cos it must have been very distracting for them to watch the movie with the big bulb of yours burning so bright"

"go on, make fun of me all you like, i don't care"

"I'm only trying to cheer you up dude. every thing's gonna be fine. haven't you heard time heals everything."

"yeah right i know, what's the point in being upset and all, especially while she is still there watching that sick movie. she didn't care to ask why i went out"

"what! you came out in the middle of the movie"

"course i did, what do you expect. that was so horrifyingly boring. I've decided to never again watch a Hindi movie"

"you have been through a lot dude for one day. i feel sorry for you, i really do"

"don't feel sorry, I'll be alright. but what's even more disheartening was when priya refused to translate the movie"

"forget about it dude. i personally thought priya was not the right girl for you. will you cheer up now, in the morning everything is gonna be OK. who knows you might even end up with the girl from your french class"

"that would be something. i think I'll be OK. thanks for talking with me"

"lose the girl in you dude. you know you don't have to thank me"

"yeah, i know. it's kinda weird you know, you have always been there for me throughout but i never felt the need to appreciate that, i guess i kinda got accustomed to it"

"and likewise, i think you've been there for me too and every thing's cool and all's well that ends well, now let's not start sucking each others dick already"

"yeah, got it. now do you still have that weed you were talking about"

"course i do, i was only about to smoke it when you came in"

"good, i can't imagine i was gonna give that up"

"there you are, that's like you"

we smoked weed for a while, and then Sid said

"do you ever wonder how we're gonna be as adults, i mean when we have a family and all?"

"yeah sure, I'll make a pretty decent father. though i seriously doubt if you would"

"maybe, i dunno, but i bet you what, I'll sure make an amazing godfather to your son or daughter"

"ha ha, funny. whatever, i just desperately hope that i have a good life and you too"

"whatever, who cares"